peace lilly

and who knew it'd be you that would reaffirm the realization that i’m sensitive.

for so long i wanted to be tougher than i really am…

thought that if i could pick a fight with myself and win, it’d somehow prove i’m strong.

(who was i ever fighting?)

i didn’t know that my strength laid in acceptance

that its the claiming of my own fragility and tenderness that gives me strength

ok, so what “i can do it” and “i can survive”

i don’t need to prove that to myself anymore and i’m already a survivor

How about living? How about making my biggest, most inspired dreams come true?

And living full?

How about allowing the divine’s great vision for me to unfold by getting myself out of the way?

ya, i got “the fight” in me… but what did the fight ever get me?  front row at the wrestling match… where i got to watch myself manhandle my former self?

and its you… a house plant of all things….

not even exotic or that beautiful…

quite plain actually… even more like me than i’d care to admit…

the kind of plant i grew up seeing in malls… almost as common as office ivy

i only bought you because you were the only plant available in the middle of winter….

and who knew itd be you that would remind me how sensitive i am…

if i don’t water you one week, you’ll begin to fall over and wither…

ive always had plants that could last weeks without my attention…

but you need me…. at first i was annoyed…. Couldn’t figure out why you were dying so much all the time…. thought it was the light and moved you from the window….

thought it was the temperature and moved you to the hallway…

had to research you on the internet…

had to go by the store and ask the owner how to care for you?

its taken me so many years to learn how to care for myself.

its all the attention you take that made me realize,

if i were a plant, id be just like you…

i know what its like to be thirsty and not watered

i know how it feels to need more sun…

i know what its like when its cold and you dont want to be where you are…

but your stuck…

i really, really get you…. we’re so alike….

i’m learning to watch your leaves so i can tell what you need….

you require so much more attention than any plant i’ve ever known…

again… just like me

and i stare at you thirsty, about to get up and water you…

all the while knowing, exactly what a plant like you needs.