sensatory
from the deep they call me
the cozy comfortable versions of myself.
“Hold my hand” each echo of desperation whispers to me
I love myself. I set myself free.
The clenched fist opens.....
like solar panels of satellites, I turn towards surrender
Its the silence of myself that i have lost that nourishes me.
Its the vacancy i created when i let it go that holds me.
From the cervix, every moment grows me toward my greatness.
But they call to me.
They beg me with their familiar voices
“Take me with you”.
And she kneels inside of me, the veiled woman who weeps
and never shows her eyes.
the source of my tears thats collected behind these eyes
thats watched myself all these years.
Tightening my chest, a drawstring around my throat.
I pull back.
I clench the tails of my garments as I move towards surrender.
But they weep harder
and they beg me with the voice thats loved me for so long...
“Come back to me my dear, come back to me”
“Your safe here in the womb of what we’ve always had”.
I pretend I don’t hear them.
I go where its warm and I get my ass home.
But they long for me, and I for them.
For its my past thats brought me here
and these versions of myself that I want to love now
the ways I never could then...
“Come home to me”
“Come home to me”
“come home to me”....
